When your Parents Disapprove of your Fiancé

December 8th, 20106:39 pm

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When your Parents Disapprove of your Fiancé

There can be nothing more troubling than when your own parents don’t approve of the person who you have chosen to be “the one”.  Before you become upset and go on the defense, try to diffuse and sort out the situation.

Start off by trying to see your partner through their eyes.  To many of us, the one we love can do no wrong (or almost no wrong).  They seem perfect in every way!  You love the same jokes, you enjoy the same movies, and you have the same points of view on many aspects of life.  Sit down with your family and ask them exactly why they disapprove of your mate.  Their reasoning will either reveal:

  • A misunderstanding: perhaps they misunderstood something about your mate, and you will be able to clear the air and set it straight
  • His or her shortcomings that they have seen but you perhaps haven’t noticed or realized yet

It’s important to take a look at these shortcomings and then decide if these are things that are even an issue with you, and if they are how you will be able to work through these in the future.  Should something be brought up that you are not sure you are going to be able to handle, don’t immediately call off your wedding.  Sit down with your partner and talk it out.

TIP:  It’s important to also not harp on the things that may be said by your parents.  Not everything is meant to be taken at face value.  Parents may blurt out hurtful things that are not a true reflection of their feelings.

Another important step in dealing with parents who may not approve your mate is to be sure that you pay them extra attention and give them extra love.  It’s quite possible that your parents are only disapproving of your mate because they see it as your fiancé “taking you away” from them.  Remind them that they are irreplaceable and that your fiancé is going to be a great new addition at the table each Christmas and Thanksgiving.

Here’s another tip that will save you a lot of heart ache: don’t delay in confronting the issue.  Once your parents say they disapprove, or once you hear through the grapevine that they do not approve of your mate, have a conversation.  Ask them why they do not think your fiancé is right for you.  It may very well be that they simply pictured you with “someone else”, like a doctor or a lawyer or who knows who.  The longer you allow you avoid this uncomfortable conversation, the worse the situation can be.  The faster you dispel any myths about your mate, the faster you will be able to change an opinion before it perhaps becomes, to them, a fact.

Above all else, it’s important that you stand by your fiancé.  You chose to spend the rest of your life with them for a reason.  Don’t let your mother, your father, or any other friend or relative sway you from the most important choice you will make in your entire life: who is to be your husband (or wife).

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